“Morning, Jim!”
A tuft of chestnut hair appeared from behind the refrigerator door.
“Mornin’ Chris!”
Chris leaned against the counter, adjusting his tie and pushing his glasses up his nose. “How’s the office treating you?”
“Good, good. Everyone’s been great.” Jim finally spotted the little carton of half and half and withdrew it from the door compartment. “It’s nice to actually have a separate room for lunch.” He glanced around the break room, nodding in appreciation.
Chris chuckled good-naturedly. “Well, you’ve been a great addition to our sales team. Our profits have gone up nearly two percent since you joined.” He clapped Jim’s shoulder. “Welcome to the ranks, kiddo.”
“Thanks.” A tinge of red crept over Jim’s face. He reached for his coffee mug and poured in the half and half. He stirred, transfixed by the swirling patterns in the foam. “It’s too bad about Aaron, though.”
Chris sighed and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he would have retired sooner or later though. Forty-five years in sales? Hell, I’ve only been manager for twelve and I’m beginning to question my sanity.”
Both men laughed. After they had settled down, Jim sipped his coffee and cleared his throat. “How hard do you think sales are gonna drop now that Aaron’s gone?”
Chris shrugged. “Not too bad, providing that I find a half-decent salesman within the next month.” He snapped his fingers. “Speaking of which, I have an interview for the sales position scheduled today for…” He paused, his head tilting up at the ceiling in thought. “Damn.”
Jim sipped quietly at his mug as Chris withdrew his Blackberry from his trouser pocket and flipped through his messages.
“Oh! It says right here I have an interview today with … J. Ryder.”
Jim choked on his coffee. He set his mug down on the counter, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. “’J’ as in ‘Jeremy?”
Chris squinted at the screen, scrolling down the rest of the message. “That’s him. I have him scheduled for 4:30, which should be in… fifteen minutes.”
Jim glanced nervously around the room, fisting his hair in his coffee-splattered hands. “I, uh, have to use the restroom.” He darted towards the exit.
“Don’t forget your coffee,” Chris called from the break room, his eyebrows quirked in confusion.
*****
A manicured hand rapped against the door of the men’s room. “Jim?”
“Sorry, now isn’t a good time, Jenna,” Jim said, his voice muffled from behind the door.
Jenna pursed her lips, running a hand through her red hair. “Jim, you’ve been in there for nearly ten minutes! Come out and talk to me.” She heard Jim sigh. After a moment of rustling, the door clicked open and Jim skulked out.
“Jesus, look at you,” Jenna scorned, smoothing out stray tufts of Jim’s hair and frowning at the wrinkles in his shirt. “What the hell were you doing in there?”
“I might have been… Hiding behind a toilet,” Jim mumbled, bowing his head.
Jenna sighed, sliding her palm down to cup Jim’s cheek. “It’s this ‘Jeremy’ guy that’s coming in today, isn’t it?” Jim nodded.
Jenna brought her other hand to Jim’s face, tilting his head up to look at her. “Look. I have no idea what happened at your last job, but what’s done is done, and you’re just going to have to get past it. Besides, how bad can this ‘Jeremy’ person be?”
*****
“I bid you good morn on such a lovely day, my lady. I find your office workspace in quite delightful arrangement. Your papers, however, are haphazardly stacked in an arrangement which may or may not fall at any moment, and it is my firm suggestion that you reorganize and rearrange them as soon as you have a free moment sometime in your day. Oh, how inconceivably ill-mannered of me to not offer my identity to a stranger upon first meeting. You may refer to me as ‘Mr. Ryder’ in a formal setting or ‘Jeremy’ in an informal context, but seeing as this is an office and therefore a formal environment, it would be in your best interest to refer to me as ‘Mr. Ryder’ whenever you feel the need to address me.”
The receptionist sat still, her mouth gaping and he eyes glazed as she took in the man standing before her. A crown of unruly spikes rested atop his head. His wiry frame was draped in a smart black suit. Each time he spoke, his face contorted into a plethora of expressions and his hands gesticulated violently.
Both heads turned as Chris stepped out of the break room and swaggered towards them. He beamed, offering a strong hand to the other man. “You must be Jeremy. I’m Chris, manager of the branch. Pleased to meet you.”
Jeremy raised his chin and grasped Chris’s hand firmly. “Ah, yes sir, I can most definitely confirm the pleasure obtained on my account as well. Ergo, I foresee that our relationship as employee and employer has commenced, and I will most likely, but perhaps not, obtain the position that I have applied for with your favor. It would be in our common interest to begin the interview now so as not to waste the time in our day which could be spent doing business otherwise.”
The smile weakened at the corners on Chris’s face. He gestured towards the door to his office. “Right this way.”
*****
“So he’s both ‘frank’ and ‘verbose’?” Jenna asked from across the break room table, stifling a grin. “That’s a deadly combination right there.”
Jim laughed. “Well, now you know why I only lasted a month at my last job. I don’t think anyone hated him more than my boss, though. Once, he nearly hit Jeremy in the head with a bible.” Jenna snorted and clapped a hand over her mouth.
“A modern day Shakespeare co-worker and a religious nut boss? Man, you really lucked out, Jimmy-boy.” Jenna shook her head as her laughter died down. “I feel terrible for Chris, he actually has to talk to the guy.” She stood up from the table. “We should see how he’s doing.”
Jim stood up after her. “Why? He’s such a great guy-I can’t imagine him getting mad at anybody.”
Jenna only smirked. “You have much to learn, young padawan.”
*****
“Are you sure this’ll work?” Jim asked as he shifted the cup resting between his ear and the wall of Chris’s office.
“Yup. You’re talking to a professional, kiddo,” Jenna assured him, mirroring his position against the door. They both jumped as something heavy thudded against the other side of the wall. Muffled shouting grew sharper in volume as the handle of the door clicked open. Two arguing figures stumbled out.
“…Graduated at the top of my class, beating out any other possible contenders with my superior intellect and therefore demonstrating my qualifications for such an unsophisticated task! Again, I assure you, you are making an unwise decision in relation to the efficiency of your business as you will be losing any marginal profits I would have obtained!”
“Obtain this!” Chris growled, plucking his stapler off the floor where it had landed earlier and launching it at the other man’s head. Jeremy’s slim figure darted through the office and through the exit. With a grunt, Chris retreated back into his office.
Jenna patted Jim on the shoulder. “Well, you survived your second encounter. That has to count for something.”
Jim shook his head. “He’ll be back. He always comes back.”
